Rejoicing in the Lord

Last Wednesday (9/12) was a very emotional day in the life of our family.  We were mourning Brooks because it was the one year anniversary since my 4 month appointment where we found out that I had a miscarriage and lost him.  Providentially, my 4 month appointment for our new baby fell on the same day one year later.  Talk about facing your fears!  We were trying not to get too anxious that this appointment could go the same way.  We prayed that we would trust in the Lord and that we would be able to glorify God, regardless of the outcome of that appointment.

With lots and lots of tears of joy, I am happy to announce that this appointment went much differently than the last one!  We rejoice and praise the Lord that He is redeeming our sad memories with happy ones.  Our  baby's heartbeat was found quickly and he/she had a strong heartbeat of 153 beats per minute.  It was so emotional as we went through the same motions that we did last year that I just couldn't help but cry.  Cry as I thought of Brooks, cry as I thought of our new little baby that is squirming around and alive!  The doctor even asked me "What's wrong? Everything looks good!"  

One of the verses that I have been loving is Psalm 100:5 - "For the LORD is good; his steadfast love endures forever, and his faithfulness to all generations."  As we prepare for the next generation of McDaniels, we can't help but worship our Creator, knowing that His plans are always good, even if we don't understand them at the time.

We planned a visit with my parents that weekend in the hopes to celebrate with them after a good report.  I didn't realize how much I was waiting to get through that appointment before beginning to get excited about this little one!  It was fun to start planning things with my mom.  We watched the new movie "What To Expect When You're Expecting," we threw out ideas for our nursery, and we looked at baby stuff at Target & Once Upon A Child.  My mom plans to throw a baby shower for me in Jacksonville and we were able to start making a list of people to invite. 

Here we are looking at baby shower invitations.  We can't make a final decision on them until we know if our baby is a boy or a girl.  We will be finding this out on October 8!

We finished the day with eating at one of our favorite places in Savannah, Sweet Potatoes.  We had a great time and I think all four of us were able to relax and enjoy the weekend! :)

Whate'er My God Ordains Is Right

Last Wednesday, Curtis and I went to our third OB appointment to check on Baby McD.  Thinking that I had now surpassed the first trimester, I found myself more calm about this appointment than I had been at the previous two.  When they searched for the baby's heartbeat with the doppler device, I was told that she was not able to find a consistent heartbeat and she would have another woman come to check.  I tried to think positively during the 30-minute waiting period, but we couldn't help but start to think that perhaps something was wrong.  One of the RUF hymns that Curtis and I sang often in college - "Whate'er My God Ordains Is Right" came to mind during this time:

1. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
Holy His will abideth.
I will be still whate’er He does,
And follow where He guideth.
He is my God,
Though dark my road.
He holds me that I shall not fall
Wherefore to Him I leave it all

2. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
He never will deceive me
He leads me by the proper path,
I know He will not leave me
I take, content,
What He hath sent
His hand can turn my griefs away
And patiently I wait His day

3. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
Though now this cup in drinking
May bitter seem to my faint heart,
I take it all unshrinking
My God is true,
Each morn anew
Sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart
And pain and sorrow shall depart

4. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
Here shall my stand be taken
Though sorrow, need, or death be mine,
Yet I am not forsaken
My Father’s care
Is round me there
He holds me that I shall not fall
And so to Him I leave it all

If you wanted to hear a portion of this song (verses 1 & 4), you can find here.  I knew that whatever happened, God was still in control.  If there was a problem, we would walk through this trial knowing that the Lord would carry us through it.  The Lord has always been faithful in various trials that Curtis and I have both gone through individually and as a couple, so we had that confidence.

Unfortunately, we found that the baby had passed away when they performed an impromptu-ultrasound.  I had to have surgery (D&C) to remove the baby's remains on Friday.

It has been a very hard week as we have had to come to grips with the reality that we will not be having a baby in February.  We didn't realize that we could love someone that we've never met as much as we loved this baby!  We prayed often that this baby would never know a day without the Lord, so we hope that one day we will get to meet him or her when we arrive in heaven.  At this time, we are in need of prayer as we mourn the loss of our little one.