God's Sovereignty Through Anna

If you've been following my blog long enough, you've heard about the tragedy that we went through in 2011 when we miscarried our son, Brooks.  If you missed it, here's the link to the original post: Whate'er My God Ordains Is Right.  That was a really hard, sad time.

When we found out that I was pregnant with Anna, we were overjoyed!  We couldn't believe that out of all days, it was exactly one year after I found out I was pregnant with Brooks.  Here's that link: Coming in February 2013.

Then, we had a very emotional 4 month appointment for Anna exactly one year from the date of the same appointment for Brooks, where we learned that we lost him.  We couldn't help but give praise to God when Anna's heartbeat was going strong.  For extended details, see Rejoicing in the Lord.

And now, I am happy to share with all my readers that Anna was providentially born on Brooks' due date! Again, one year later.

We serve an awesome God that is sovereign over all.  It is no coincidence that all of these dates lined up!  Although Anna doesn't take the place of Brooks, we can't help but think of this as a special gift from the Lord.  God has certainly been redeeming all our sad dates with happy ones.

We tried to put a lot of thought into Anna's name.  Anna means "a woman graced with God's favor."  We also named her "Hope," which means "one who has high expectations through faith."  I recently heard in a sermon that hope is the "grand finale of suffering."

And yes, that is exactly what Anna is -
A baby that we had high expectations that God would give us because of his amazing grace and mercy to us.
A baby graced with God's favor and the answer to our prayers after all the suffering from losing Brooks.

We pray, as one of our friends recently said, that the Lord would give her grace both to know Him and to live up to both of her names all her days.

Whate'er My God Ordains Is Right

Last Wednesday, Curtis and I went to our third OB appointment to check on Baby McD.  Thinking that I had now surpassed the first trimester, I found myself more calm about this appointment than I had been at the previous two.  When they searched for the baby's heartbeat with the doppler device, I was told that she was not able to find a consistent heartbeat and she would have another woman come to check.  I tried to think positively during the 30-minute waiting period, but we couldn't help but start to think that perhaps something was wrong.  One of the RUF hymns that Curtis and I sang often in college - "Whate'er My God Ordains Is Right" came to mind during this time:

1. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
Holy His will abideth.
I will be still whate’er He does,
And follow where He guideth.
He is my God,
Though dark my road.
He holds me that I shall not fall
Wherefore to Him I leave it all

2. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
He never will deceive me
He leads me by the proper path,
I know He will not leave me
I take, content,
What He hath sent
His hand can turn my griefs away
And patiently I wait His day

3. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
Though now this cup in drinking
May bitter seem to my faint heart,
I take it all unshrinking
My God is true,
Each morn anew
Sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart
And pain and sorrow shall depart

4. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
Here shall my stand be taken
Though sorrow, need, or death be mine,
Yet I am not forsaken
My Father’s care
Is round me there
He holds me that I shall not fall
And so to Him I leave it all

If you wanted to hear a portion of this song (verses 1 & 4), you can find here.  I knew that whatever happened, God was still in control.  If there was a problem, we would walk through this trial knowing that the Lord would carry us through it.  The Lord has always been faithful in various trials that Curtis and I have both gone through individually and as a couple, so we had that confidence.

Unfortunately, we found that the baby had passed away when they performed an impromptu-ultrasound.  I had to have surgery (D&C) to remove the baby's remains on Friday.

It has been a very hard week as we have had to come to grips with the reality that we will not be having a baby in February.  We didn't realize that we could love someone that we've never met as much as we loved this baby!  We prayed often that this baby would never know a day without the Lord, so we hope that one day we will get to meet him or her when we arrive in heaven.  At this time, we are in need of prayer as we mourn the loss of our little one.