Margaret (Curtis) McDaniel + Curtis McDaniel = Curtis.Squared

September 21, 2011

Whate'er My God Ordains Is Right

Last Wednesday, Curtis and I went to our third OB appointment to check on Baby McD.  Thinking that I had now surpassed the first trimester, I found myself more calm about this appointment than I had been at the previous two.  When they searched for the baby's heartbeat with the doppler device, I was told that she was not able to find a consistent heartbeat and she would have another woman come to check.  I tried to think positively during the 30-minute waiting period, but we couldn't help but start to think that perhaps something was wrong.  One of the RUF hymns that Curtis and I sang often in college - "Whate'er My God Ordains Is Right" came to mind during this time:

1. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
Holy His will abideth.
I will be still whate’er He does,
And follow where He guideth.
He is my God,
Though dark my road.
He holds me that I shall not fall
Wherefore to Him I leave it all

2. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
He never will deceive me
He leads me by the proper path,
I know He will not leave me
I take, content,
What He hath sent
His hand can turn my griefs away
And patiently I wait His day

3. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
Though now this cup in drinking
May bitter seem to my faint heart,
I take it all unshrinking
My God is true,
Each morn anew
Sweet comfort yet shall fill my heart
And pain and sorrow shall depart

4. Whate’er my God ordains is right,
Here shall my stand be taken
Though sorrow, need, or death be mine,
Yet I am not forsaken
My Father’s care
Is round me there
He holds me that I shall not fall
And so to Him I leave it all

If you wanted to hear a portion of this song (verses 1 & 4), you can find here.  I knew that whatever happened, God was still in control.  If there was a problem, we would walk through this trial knowing that the Lord would carry us through it.  The Lord has always been faithful in various trials that Curtis and I have both gone through individually and as a couple, so we had that confidence.

Unfortunately, we found that the baby had passed away when they performed an impromptu-ultrasound.  I had to have surgery (D&C) to remove the baby's remains on Friday.

It has been a very hard week as we have had to come to grips with the reality that we will not be having a baby in February.  We didn't realize that we could love someone that we've never met as much as we loved this baby!  We prayed often that this baby would never know a day without the Lord, so we hope that one day we will get to meet him or her when we arrive in heaven.  At this time, we are in need of prayer as we mourn the loss of our little one.